


Hepburn Pies

by sharperobjects



Category: Batgirl (Comics), Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bakery, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Bakery and Coffee Shop, F/M, dickbabs coffee shop au, guy gardner gets a cameo, steph brown gets a cameo, technically a bakery/cafe/diner bc babs is very ambitious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-30
Updated: 2015-06-30
Packaged: 2018-04-06 23:12:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4240254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharperobjects/pseuds/sharperobjects
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick Grayson smiles, and Barbara is 100% sure the whole world explodes from sheer <em>'what the fuck, why is he so hot'</em> feels.</p><p>x</p><p>the dickbabs coffee shop au that everyone deserves, AND the one everyone needs, right now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hepburn Pies

**Author's Note:**

> For my batfam squad on Twitter. 
> 
> (Thanks to Ru and Tess for being absolute sweethearts and reviewing parts of this!)

Barbara blows air out of her mouth as the coffee maker sputters milk. They need to get a new one, before it just completely breaks down and refuses to disperse any liquid at all.

"Ah, good boy." She pats the machine once it fills up the cup and returns to the counter.

"Flat white, with an extra shot of espresso. That'll be $9.50!" The customer hands over a 10 dollar note and Barbara gives her the change.

The next customer moves up to the counter and - oh.

Well.

He's...attractive. With dark hair and blue eyes and a face structure that should belong to Adonis, he's dressed in a dark blue button down with his sleeves rolled up and - _fuck, why are his arms so hot, oh my god_. Barbara's cheeks burn.

She smoothes down her half apron. "Hi, what can I get you?"

Hot guy finally peels his eyes away from his phone and looks at her.

Except he doesn't say anything. His mouth is parted and his eyes are on her, but he's completely frozen.

"Uh. Hi?"

Hot guy suddenly blinks. "Pfzzzt."

"Wha - are you - are you having a stroke right now?"

"Uh, yeah. I mean, no. I'm." He coughs. "Fine. Yeah. Uh. C - coffee?"

"Sure. Uh, what kind?" Barbara doesn't know what is going on with him but he needs to stop because the whole adorable stuttering dork thing is a _very_ good look on him and she's pretty sure lusting after customers is against the rules. Also, Dinah's coming in after lunch and that woman just _knows_ when Babs has an encounter with a hot guy and she will not let go until she pries the whole story from Barbara's mouth.

"Uh, an iced regular single short non-fat caramel white chocolate mocha, with whipped cream."

"Huh, someone's got a sweet tooth."

"What can I say, I'm a sweet guy." Hot guy then immediately cringes at himself. "That was not...I am so sorry, I'm not - suave is supposed to be my thing but uh, it's just not working out today."

Barbara presses her lips together to stop herself from laughing. This guy is a crime on humanity. She needs to get his name.

"Okay Mr...?"

"Uh, Grayson. Dick."

"Mr Grayson Dick?" Barbara raises her eyebrows.

"No I meant -"

"I know what you meant I was just, yknow." Barbara waves her hand around in the air and fuck, why is she being an _idiot_ , she's so lame. She tucks a lose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Ah. Okay." Dick Grayson smiles, and Barbara is 100% sure the whole world explodes from sheer _'what the fuck, why is he so hot'_ feels.

"HEY! Is this line gonna move or what!" Some ginger guy with a horrible bowl cut and a clashing green jacket yells from down the queue and Barbara swears to screw up his order somehow.

When she returns with Dick's order, he grins at her again and Barbara almost goes into cardiac arrest.

"Alright well, uh, thanks for the drink and I'll uh, hopefully I'll see you soon?"

"I'll be right here." Barbara smiles. Dick Grayson gives her the same frozen look he did when he first saw her, and then quickly smiles back.

Barbara trips 5 times that day, and curses her eidetic memory each time because she cannot get Dick Grayson's smile out of her mind.

\---

"So, I have good news and bad news."

Dinah raises her eyebrows.

"Bad news first." Alysia says.

"We don't have any more eggs. Like, at all."

Dinah throws Barbara a frown that's really a glare. "What's the good news?"

"Uh, it's a really nice day to go out and get eggs?" Barbara shrugs, a please-don't-kill-me smile on her face.

"Are you kidding me? A) it's the middle of the freaking summer and B) you're in charge of inventory! Why did you not - invent!"

Alysia frowns. "That's not - you didn't use the word right -"

"You know what I meant and - oh come _on_ she's not even listening anymore where is she going?"

"Hi." Barbara smiles at the just entered Dick Grayson.

"Hey." His eyes twinkle and Barbara doesn't understand _how_ but they do. And his face just. Ugh. His _face_.

"So. You're here a little early."

"Yeah I thought I'd have breakfast? If...you guys do that...sorta thing -" Dick shoves his hands in his pockets (figure hugging denims - fuck) and looks awkwardly adorable.

"Oh. Yes. Yes! We do do breakfast. I just said do do. Oh my god. I meant that - like, grammatically -"

"Yeah, it makes sense. Your grammar is...perfect." And then he just tilts his head and grins and Barbara wants to fall. On him.

"We just took the breakfast rolls out of the oven so they'll be hot. Why don't you take a seat and I'll get you one?"

"Sounds great." And he turns to walk to a table and Barbara sees his ass and suddenly feels like she just ran a 10k.

It takes her 5 whole minutes to get him the roll because she made goddamn sure it was the nicest roll ever. It's totally worth the weird looks she gets from Dinah and Alysia.

\---

Turns out Dick Grayson really likes the breakfast rolls, because he starts coming in every morning. And afternoon. And evening.

Barbara's considering opening a dinner menu just so that he'd come by at night too.

"I have never seen you like this." Dinah's voice snaps her out of her 'pasta or spaghetti on the imaginary dinner menu' conundrum.

"What?" Barbara asks, wiping down the cake display.

"Barbara. You were whistling while moping the place this morning. You volunteered to take the trash out. And worst of all, you smiled at horrible bowl cut guy. Nobody smiles at horrible bowl cut guy."

Barbara grins, feeling like she's on a cloud. "I guess I'm in a good mood."

"No. No, you're not in a good mood, you're in a rainbows and sunshine mood."

The bell signaling the door being opened goes off and Barbara's head snaps around.

It's just some blonde in a purple sweater who needs a waffle fix. Alysia goes into the kitchen to make some.

"Is this about that hottie who came in last Thursday?"

Barbara shakes her head firmly. "Nope."

Dinah stares.

"Maybe."

Dinah raises an eyebrow.

"Yes?" Barbara says, grinning.

"Hmm, yeah, I can see why." She says, as the bell rings again. "Go get him. And uh, his pretty hot friend?"

There's another guy with Dick today, dark hair, a little taller and wearing a red hoodie. They sit at Dick's usual spot and Barbara goes to get their order.

"Hey guys, how's it going today?" Dick grins at her and Barbara's heart hammers in her chest.

"Hey Barbara," He says, and at the sound of her name, the other guy looks up from the menu. He gives her a once over (and that's when Barbara realises she's wearing an old black and white blank baseball tee and probably has some flour on her, _shit_ ), and says "Now everything makes sense."

Barbara frowns, confused. There's a short shuffling noise, and she's pretty sure Dick just kicked the other guy under the table.

"Uh, I meant to say hi. I'm Jason Todd, Dick's brother." Jason Todd leans forward, crossing his arms on the table and smiles like a cheeky 5 year old.

"Hi, Jason," Barbara says brightly. "So uh, what will you guys be having today? Your usual?" She directs the last sentence to Dick.

"Usual? I thought you've only been coming here for 2 days?" Jason says, eyes bright. Barbara answers before Dick can.

"Oh, no he's been coming here for like a week now."

"Huh." Jason grins, clearly happy about something. "That usual must be pretty flipping good." Dick's ears flood red and he just looks so damn adorable.

"His usual's the Down Under, with a side of fries plus coke, and a Hepburn pie, it's a homemade blueberry cake pie."

"Wait, a blueberry cake pie? Like, together?"

"She came up with it all by herself and it's holy like, you have to try it. You will literary forget what Alfred's pies taste like." Dick gushes, eyes wide.

"Holy shit."

"I know."

Jason turns to Babs. "Well, you have got to get me one of those. And, hmm, Jalapeño Heaven?"

"It's really hot." Barbara warns.

"As hot as you?" Jason winks. Dick glares at him.

Babs rolls her eyes and leaves to prep their order.

Jason Todd all but falls in love with the cake pie. Actually, he might literally be in love with the Hepburn, because halfway through he asks Barbara if he can marry it, and then if he can marry her to make that for him every day.

"You wish, Todd. You wish." She calls over her shoulder as she clears a nearby table.

When they finish and come up to the counter, Alysia taps her on the shoulder and tells her to ring up her boys.

"They're not mine."

"Not yet. Marry one and toss the other my way, would ya?"

Barbara shakes her head, laughing and goes to the counter.

"That will be 23 dollars," She calls out.

"You got a blue line discount?" Jason asks, leaning on the counter. Dick stands next to him, hands in his pockets.

"You're a cop?"

"Pfft, no. The other guy."

Barbara frowns. "I've never heard of an Officer Grayson around here."

"I just transfered here from Bludhaven. Besides uh, do you know every cop around here?" Dick laughs.

Barbara smiles. "Considering my dad's the Commissioner, I'd think so, yeah."

Dick's face goes white as Jason starts coughing violently.

Barbara frowns, pretending to be oblivious but she can't hide her amusement. "Do you need some water, Jason?"

"Ahaha, you're funny Gordon. _Real_ funny." Jason says, as they pay.

"Uh, can you go get the car, Jay?" Dick asks as the computer prints the receipt.

Jason grins. "Sure." He stretches the word for a mile. "Take your time, Golden Boy." And he winks before leaving.

Jason is such a weirdo. But he's cute. Definitely growing on me, Barbara thinks.

"So here's your receipt." Barbara says, passing it over to Dick. Their fingers touch, briefly and it sends a jolt through her whole body.

Please don't leave please don't leave please don't leave.

"So...tonight was fun. I mean like, you were nice. I mean, you're always nice but tonight it was -" Dick shuts his eyes and scrunches his face up for a second.

"I just really liked seeing you, again, tonight."

"I liked seeing you too." Barbara feels like she's bubbling with happiness.

Dick nods, and they both just stand there smiling at each other for a while. It's like they're in a daze, and it's amazing. God, Barbara just wants to lean over the counter and pull him in for a kiss.

There's suddenly a loud car horn from right outside the cafe, and Alysia calls Barbara from the kitchen, so they bid goodbye and part ways. But not before -

"I'll see you again?" Barbara asks.

"Yeah." Dick flashes his trademark smile. "You will."

\---

They do meet again. And again, and again.

The first Tuesday after Barbara met Jason Todd, Dick comes in, just as he always has since day one. Everything goes by normal and then -

There's a loud shout that almost makes Barbara drop the plates she's carrying.

"THAT GUY STOLE MY PHONE!"

Barbara's head whips around, and she sees a guy in a black hoodie racing out the front doors.

Not in my goddamn cafe, she thinks.

Barbara's over the counter and out the front door in a minute. She spots the guy quickly and starts speeding after him.

The early morning crowd gives way easily for her. She thinks -

"Barbara!" Dick catches up to her and runs alongside her. "Go back I've got this!"

"No way!" They run side by side, chasing the thief.

"He could be armed! Listen to me, I'm a cop! I'll get him!"

"And I'm the Commissioner's daughter! He needs to know what happens to people who decide to commit crimes in my goddamn backyard!"

Barbara hears Dick swear under his breath. They swerve into a long alleyway.

From the corner of her eyes, Barbara sees Dick pull away from her. Frowning, she turns to look briefly, legs still pumping after the thief.

Dick kicks off using the side of alley, lands on top of a dumpster, pushes off and climbs up the wall onto the roof of the building parallel to the alley.

Since when did they start teaching parkour at police academies?!

Dick takes a shortcut on the roof on the building and somehow ends up ahead of the thief below.

He somersaults off the roof and lands in the alley, before the thief. Barbara slows down.

"Give me the phone, and then put your hands above your head." Dick orders the thief, his voice low and authoritative and no, Barbara, you should not be getting turned on right now, she tells herself and focuses on the matter at hand.

The thief grudgingly hands the phone to Dick. Barbara thinks that everything is over when suddenly the asshole body slams Dick into a  
nearby dumpster and turns around, making a run for it in Barbara's direction.

Babs grins, pumped up.

"Say hello to my _fist_!"

\---

"Well, you throw a mean right hook."

The thief is being taken away by cops to the nearest precinct. Barbara's already called her father and explained everything. He's pretty proud of the black eye she handed out.

Babs turns to Dick, who's surveying the arrest next to her from inside the cafe. "Commish's daughter, remember?"

Dick turns to face her, and laughs." Yeah, well, remind me to never piss you off."

"Nah, I wouldn't punch you. Wouldn't want to hurt your pretty face." She bites her lip, smiling. God, is that too forward?

Dick ducks his head, in that adorable way that just makes Barbara want to twirl. And then he shoots her a quick smile, and Barbara does end up twirling in the back room when he's gone.

\---

Every end of month, Barbara closes up an hour earlier to do the accounts. Alysia and Dinah clean up and head home, while Babs stays for at least an hour in the empty shop to write up the finances.

She's in the middle of doing the math for expenses when there's a knock at the front door.

The lights are all off, except for the one at the table she's occupying, and the sign at the entrance had been flipped to "See ya tomorrow!", so Babs doesn't get why there's someone at the door.

Alysia probably left her keys or something, she thinks, as she makes her way to the door.

It's only when she turns on the entrance lights that she realises it's Dick. He's leaning against the door, face kinda smushed against the glass.

It's unfair how he still looks attractive.

Barbara unlocks the door, and Dick shoots her a goofy grin.

"Hey," Babs smiles softly.

"Hey," He replies, eyes partially closed but still grinning.

"How much did you have to drink?"

Dick laughs. "Just a lil bit." He holds up two fingers in a pinching motion to display it.

Barbara raises an eyebrow, amused. "Seems like a little more than 'a little bit', Dick. Sorry, but my dad says no letting in drunk guys after 9."

Dick immediately shoots up, straight as an arrow. "I'm not drunk. Just a little, uh, lightheaded. Really."

"Really?"

"I would never lie to you, Barbara Joan Gordon." He nods, seriously. Barbara shifts to the side, letting Dick enter. She shuts the door behind him and walks back to her table.

"I'm impressed you know my middle name."

"Commish has your degree on his office wall." Dick lowers himself into a chair opposite Babs.

"Ah, okay. So, uh, what's the occasion?" Barbara asks, closing the books on the table and shoving them aside.

"My parents' death anniversary."

Barbara pauses. Dick stares at the table, lips pressed against each other.

Barbara reaches over and places her hand over his. "I'm sorry, Dick." He tosses a sad smile at her.

They stay quiet for a while, and Barbara lets him recover from the thought. Dick laces their fingers together, and then shakes his head.  
"Ugh, I'm ruining your night, right?"

"What? No! I love having you here."

"Really?"

"Yeah! What cafe owner doesn't dream of her most loyal customer showing up drunk -"

" - mildly drunk -" Dick corrects.

" _mildly_ drunk, an hour after she's closed?" Dick makes a face at her, and then they both start laughing.

"Most loyal customer, huh?" Dick asks and Barbara nods. "Does that mean I can persuade you to make me something?" He grins, all teeth showing.

Barbara scrunched up her face. "Is that why you came here? I thought it was because you like me!"

"I do like you!" Dick says and Barbara keens internally. " _But_ ," he drags out the word. "I also like the Hepburn pie." And then he tilts his head, and shoots her a smile.

Barbara drums her fingers on the table, and then -

"There might be one in the fridge."

Dick grins, and Barbara goes to get the pie. He follows her, and even thought the entire shop is empty, they walk side by side, bodies brushing.

They end up sharing the pie on the counter, both of them leaning against it.

"Did you know I was an acrobat?"

Barbara raises an eyebrow. "No, I did not." She laughs. "But that does explain the parkour moves you pulled when we were trying to stop the phone thief."

Dick snorts. "Quadruple somersault. That's the move I did when I got from the top of the building to down on the ground." He grins at her. "I'll show you sometime."

"Can't wait." Barbara says, smiling brightly. "What's it like?"

"What's what like?"

"Being an acrobat. Doing all that, crazy stuff." Barbara leans forward, interested.

Dick laughs. "Ah, it's not so crazy once you get the science and the mechanics of it all. And as for what it's like, well...you ever just, see this thing and then you forget how to breathe?"

Barbara blinks. Yes, Dick, _you_ are the thing, she thinks.

"I mean like you see it everyday but it still takes your breath away and -" Dick suddenly stops, his face going red. It's like he's thinking of her, too. "Um, yeah. It's pretty amazing, being able to fly."

There's silence in the air for a while, Barbara just fidgeting with the spoon and Dick, face still flushed, moving pieces of the pie around on the plate.

"What uh, what do you do?" Dick finally asks after a while, looking up.

"Oh, I'm getting an online degree in Cyber Security and Computer Sciences from MIT."

"Holy shit MIT?" Dick gapes. Barbara nods.

"Why didn't you go to MIT?"

"My dad and I only have each other. My mother's not in the picture and my brother is...well, he's not really with us. So, yeah, I didn't want to spend 4 years away from the only family I have left. Plus, I know he looks like he has everything together, but the man needs taking care after." Barbara says. "Don't tell him I said that." She adds, and Dick mimes zipping his mouth. Babs smiles.

"It's nice of you to stay, I think."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Dick smiles at her, and Barbara can't look away.

"Yeah, sorry if you were expecting some super cool backstory," Babs says after a while, eyes on the pie. "I don't do much else. Oh, I mean, I don't know if you've _noticed_ , but I also run a pretty cool cafe slash bistro slash diner." Barbara says, grinning.

"Oh please don't sell yourself short. Your cafe slash bistro slash diner is amazing."

"Why thank you." Barbara laughs and Dick shrugs, smiling.

"Is that why you come here? Why do you come here?" Barbara asks, swallowing a bite.

"Today or every day?"

"Both."

"Today, because my drunk self - "

" - mildly drunk self - " Barbara says and Dick nods, snorting.

" - my mildly drunk self wanted to see you." Babs smiles.

"And every day?"

There's a pause, and then -

"Because I always want to see you." Dick says, his voice soft and a shy smile on his face.

Barbara's heart beats faster than a...well, a very fast thing. She doesn't know how to describe it, she's actually pretty sure her brain is short circuiting because she feels giddy.

Barbara leans close to him, a smile on her face. Dick closes the space between them and lightly presses his lips against Barbara's. He cups the back of her neck, and Babs places her hands on his chest. They move closer to each other, so that every inch of their bodies are together.

When they break the kiss, Babs leans her forehead against Dick's.

"This is better than a Hepburn." Dick says, kissing the corner of her mouth.

"Yeah? Maybe I should put it on the menu." Babs teases, her voice soft.

"Absolutely not."

Barbara laughs.

\---

"I don't get it." Alysia says, perched on the counter next to Dinah as she watches Barbara half run half walk around the cafe in an evening dress. It's almost closing time, so there's no one in the cafe except for the three of them.

"Don't get what?" Dinah asks, kicking her legs out.

"She's glowing. Why is she glowing. " Alysia frowns, looking like she might give herself an aneurysm.

Barbara comes out of the back room with her hair in the ponytail. She looks at herself in the nearest piece of reflective glass and makes a frustrated noise before turning around and going back inside, pulling off her hair tie.

"I'm gonna assume it's a date." Dinah replies.

"No, it's not a date glow. It's a everything in my life is perfect glow. Holy shit, it's a _sex_ glow. She did the horizontal tango." Alysia makes a confused face. "I don't know how to feel about that."

Dinah bites her lip. "Nah. No way she sleeps with someone while she's pining for Officer Hotstuff."

The bell goes off and both Dinah and Alysia slide off the counter habitually.

"Hello ladies," Officer Hotstuff says, dressed in a button down and jeans.

"Dick." Dinah greets and Alysia nods. "How can we help you today?"

"I'm here to pick up something I ordered."

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"A Hepburn pie and a Barbara Gordon prepped and ready for a date." Dick flashes a cheeky smile.

Dinah pauses mid-typing, with her fingers above the key register. Alysia whispers "She did the horizontal tango with _him_. Oh my _god_."

"Hey," There's a voice, and it's Barbara. She walks out into the front area, smiling at Dick, who's grinning back at her.

"It's like we're not even _here_." Alysia whispers to Dinah, who's already in the midst of throwing a Hepburn pie in a bag for takeaway. Dick says something to Babs which makes her blush and laugh.

Dinah leans over the counter. "Here's your Hepburn pie, Dick. And uh, there's your Barbara Gordon. Have fun and I do hope you'll come back again!"

Dick laughs, accepting the takeaway bag. "Of course I will."

"Maybe bring your brother too?" Alysia adds, but Dick's not listening. Dick and Babs are already out the door, hands laced together.

"They are kinda cute together." Dinah comments.

"Kinda cute? Dinah. They're _incredibly_ aesthetically pleasing. Do you have any idea the shit that we're gonna have to deal with right now? They could be making out in the kitchens. Their baby could be conceived in the cafe. _Our_ cafe. There could be a blue eyed redhead kid running this joint in a few years."

"Okay, Alysia, stop freaking out." Dinah says, walking away into the kitchen.

"I'm not freaking out! They're really cute together!"

**Author's Note:**

> I know like, next to nothing about baking. I can bake and I have baked stuff, but they rarely turn out well. Anyway I'm saying this because I'm probably sure a cake pie is a thing that already exists, but for the sake of the fic, let's just believe that they live in a sad, sad world where Babs only now has created such a thing. 
> 
> Anyway, please leave a kudos and a comment! 
> 
> Feel free to come talk to me on Twitter, you can find me at @barbaragordcn!


End file.
